The Attached Mother

Recently there have been some changes (for the better!) here at 451Press and I am using this week to gear up for those changes.  I have been given incentive to write a better quality blog and am excited for the future of The Attached Mother.

I will be back to posting on Monday.  See you then!

Check out this  forum and have a great weekend!

Bear is four today.  What a fast four years it has been.  On Valentine’s Day of 2003 we first saw him, looking like a tiny teddy bear, on ultrasound.  His was the first successful pregnancy after a loss and I feel like I waited forever for him.  I still tell him, “I’m so glad you’re finally here.”  He was two days past due (I know, I know.  That’s not long at all, but the others came before their due date.) and was my easiest, quickest labor.

He is happy to be four and woke up before his brothers and is sitting with me now.  I even let him watch The Wiggles.  TV is usually a no-no before school, but today I’ll make an exception for the birthday boy.

Happy Birthday, sweet Bear!

Every now and then I like to remind myself and readers who may be new to this blog or new to AP’ing what attachment parenting is.  These are the eight principles of attachment parenting.

AP moms, I think we sometimes forget the last principle and become martyrs.  Don’t let that happen to you.  It’s not healthy for you or your children.

Check out Earth-Mother-Child!  It’s just getting started, but it’s going to be a great forum for AP moms to connect on a variety of subjects.

I love this song.  When I get too busy and need some perspective, this song does it.  I tear up a little thinking about the small hours I’ve discounted or missed out on because I was running here or there.  I should play this song on repeat all day long to keep the words in my mind.  Our lives are made of these small hours.

Bug has a birthday party, Bear and Bean must go along, too, as the hubby will be working all weekend.  Little Bean is teething and will require a lot of time on mommy’s hip.  The party will give me a break while they play.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

Even though Labor Day has passed and school has been in session for over a month now, we’re still plagued with unbearable hot temperatures in these parts.  Soon, though, within another 6 weeks, we’ll see the leaves turning and the temperatures will allow me to pull out the Fall clothes that are packed away, tags still on, waiting, waiting for Autumn temperatures to arrive.

I have nothing debatable to post about today. I’m running from errand to chore trying to get it all done in time for a PTO meeting tonight.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Thursday.

I am nervous to hear the outcome of this story.  I hope her parent had nothing to do with this.

I had a stomach virus this weekend.  You can imagine what my house looks like right now given that I spent most of the day alternating between basic child care and laying down before I passed out.

I can’t even tell you what I’ll be posting about this week because I haven’t a clue.  I just want to feel better.  The ideas will come.

First soccer practices for Bug and Bear tonight.  It’s a dilemma.  I think Bean has my tummy bug but I have to go to Bear’s practice because Dh is coaching Bug’s team and has to be there.  These are things we don’t think about before having babies, now do we?  lol

I hope you all have a great week.   Soon as this sickness passes I know we will have a great one here.

The Natural Child Project is one of my favorite AP websites.  Here is the September quote of the month.

This morning did not go so smoothly at preschool.  Bear refused to get out of the car.  He did not want to go to preschool because “it takes for a long time!”.  (It’s three hours.)  After I convinced him to go inside, he started to whimper when I left him.  Uh-oh.

I decided to take him with me to drop of Bean.  Another child had just been dropped off and was screaming.  Bean took one look at him and hung on to me tight.  I soothed him and handed him over and he screamed.  I grappled over going in with him or just holding him outside the room until he calmed down.  Well, the minute he saw a favorite toy, he pushed down out of his teacher’s arms and was off.  Whew!  The other little boy stopped screaming to watch him, so double whew!

I took Bear into another room and we talked about why he was not interested in going to preschool today.  He repeated that it took too long.  I talked about the fun things he would do.  He said “No” to everything.  Well, I’m not going to force him to stay, but I decided to give the convincing one more go.  He interrupted me mid-sentence about playing in the sand outside and said, “I need to go ask my teacher about painting with paint brushes.  I need to ask her, not you, mommy.  I will ask her.”  And he was off.  He didn’t even say good-bye when he went into his room.

I walked around to check on Bean and he was happily playing.

*sigh*  That was tough.  Would I have taken them home if they had continued to protest?  Likely.  I’d like to think that I’d spend some time in the room with them first, but that initial instinct is to not leave the babies.  It’s there for a reason. 

Sure they argue and drive each other nuts but there are sweet moments often enough to make me glad that I have parented my boys in a gentle way.  When I see my words and actions reflected in their own interactions with each other, I am glad and it is all worth it.

Some of my recent favorites:

Bug, watching Bean drink from his sippy, “Oh, mommy, he is SO adorable when he drinks.  And when he smiles.  And when he sleeps.  And when he laughs, like when I tickle him?  And look at his hair.  It’s so adorable.”

Also, from Bug:  “I had to help daddy take care of Bear tonight because he kept running away while daddy passed out soccer jerseys.  But I didn’t mind because I’m a big brother and that’s what we do.  Bear will have to chase Bean when he gets four, too.”
Bear, on Bug.  “Bug is my best friend.  And daddy is my best friend, too.  But Bug is my best friend. *pause*  And daddy, too.  Oh, and Bean.  And you, too, mommy.”

Watching Bean light up when he sees his older brothers is thrilling.  I love the way he attempts to say their names and the way they respond to his special way of saying them.

Ah, yes.  Life is good!

Today was Bear’s first day of preschool.  He bounded into his classroom and left me in the dust.  Barely a good bye, I tell you!

I also enrolled Bean in the one year old class and was shocked when he reached for his teacher before she ever attempted to take him.  I had planned to walk in with him and get him settled, but he grabbed his teacher, hugged her tight and played all morning.  I was stunned.  Stunned!  Bug and Bear would have had nothing to do with leaving me at 19 months.  They would have screamed for their life if I’d dared to leave them in the care of anyone else.  But not Bean.  First he weans unthinkably early at 15 months and four months later he is acting as if seeing me leave is no biggie.  Would it have been wrong for me to scream for him?  I feel like it!  I mean, I use AP because I believe it promotes independence as the child is ready for it, but sometimes said child is ready for independence before mommy is.

Anyone else have a toddler with NO separation anxiety?  This is a first for me!

Another first today.  Bug received an “F” on a worksheet.  From what I gather, he was not paying attention when the teacher gave the instructions and it took him three tries to do the work correctly.  What bothers me is that he isn’t struggling with the work.  He’s not paying attention.  He’s barely six, though.  Are six year olds suppose to pay attention?  This worksheet had no instructions.  Bug is not an auditory learner.  I bet most of the time he barely hears the teacher’s instructions and he waits for the worksheet, reads the instructions and carries on (with all 100s and a 96, I might add).

Anyone have any ideas for helping a non-auditory learner to pay better attention?  Any info on helping a child to become better at the learning styles that do not come naturally to them would be great.  While I understand it’s best to let a child learn in their own natural way, I want him to be as well rounded as possible.

Here is an interview from Parent World of Dave Taylor.  Check it out!