The Attached Mother

I read this news article and could only sigh and shake my head. Apparently Millions of new mums say breastfeeding in public is still a nightmare. Even in this day and age mothers are still being looked down on for simply feeding their children.

Over at The F-Word there is a great post discussing this issue. The numbers shared are shameful and disturbing to think about. Despite the knowledge that breastfeeding is the best way to nourish children there is still a disaproving glare cast on it from society.

More than one fifth of the women who participated claimed they have left their babies screaming from hunger rather than opting for the alternative of feeding them in a public place. Many women fear that they would be judged for their decision to breast-feed, with 38 per cent of new mums banishing themselves to lavatories as they anticipate a negative reception in a public space. In fact 54 percent of mothers claimed to have received unwanted attention when feeding their babies, with more than 14 per cent confessing to having heated arguments with those who have been so abhorred by their actions. Consequently, more than a third of the women questioned opt to use formula milk in public in order to avoid any unnecessary conflagrations.

Unfortunately it isn’t just confined to the UK. Mothers in the US have seen their fair share of issues over public breastfeeding. And there have also been the online fights such as MySpace removing breastfeeding images as obscene, LiveJournal deleting breastfeeding icons, and FaceBook banning breastfeeding images. It is almost no wonder some moms would rather let their babies cry than try to feed them. The public reactions make it clear which option is more acceptable.

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In the latest issue of Mothering magazine there was apparently a good article called “Being a Parenting Original”. I say apparently, because, well I don’t read Mothering anymore. So I can’t give my opinion on the piece. Luckily another great mom did read it and wrote a compelling post about it. Tiffany of the Nature Moms Blog has a post up When Your Parenting Style Goes Against the Grain. For a lot of AP parents they often find their parenting style is against the grain of what is considered “normal” in today’s society.

Even if you did not read the article in Mothering it is still worth it to visit Tiffany’s blog and read her great post. Especially if you find yourself having doubts from time to time, and what parent doesn’t. We have all been there, faced with our culture’s opinion that seems to fly in the face of everything we feel and know. It can be hard not to just back down and do what everyone else is doing if for nothing more than to finally stop the naysayers.

Get used to being different! Be compassionate about why others see things as they do but you can be respectful AND stand your ground. You KNOW that you are making the right decisions…just trust your mommy instincts. And trust me your complete confidence in your choices will make others start to second guess themselves. You’re an original baby…be loud and proud!

If you are not yet a member Mothering also has a discussion board where you can talk about the current issue with like minded mamas. The boards are free to join and you can find a wealth of information on every topic from breastfeeding to raising teenagers. Even if you do not consider yourself to be into attachment parenting you are sure to find something there that you will like. Who knows, you might even learn a few new tricks.

Mothering, Mothering magazine, family, parenting

There is a study out right now that has a lot of parents talking. According to the study Spanking Raises Chances of Risky, Deviant Sexual Behavior.

Of course one has to wonder what “risky sexual behaviors, or even sexual deviancy” means. There are many people who question this kind of over-hyped claim. A quote from the article tells us

A meta-analysis of spanking studies conducted by Gershoff found 93 percent agreement among studies that spanking can lead to such problems as delinquent and anti-social behavior in childhood along with aggression, criminal and anti-social behavior and spousal or child abuse as an adult.

Yet aggression and anti-social behavior do not add up to risky sexual behavior. For many parents who do engage in sexual activities outside the normal range this study does not seem to add up. The examples later listed such as coercing a partner to have sex and sex without a condom are both risky, and in the case of coercion illegal, sexual practices. Yet including activities such as enjoying spanking during sex , presumably between two consenting adults, causes some parents to question the reliability of this study.

The problem is that in many cases what one calls deviant another does not. Of course there are many sexual activities that i think we all can agree are deviant, incest and pedophilia for examples. But there are also some that sit on a gray line. Spanking during sex between two consenting adults being one of those cases. There some who feel that homosexuality is deviant, yet I strongly doubt that it was childhood spankings that makes one so.

It would seem to me that a better title would be that “Spanking Leads To Aggressive Behavior”, something that is noted in the article. Focusing on the sexual aspects draws away from the important part of the study. Which is that spanking children is harmful.

• Does Spanking Equal Discipline?
• The Center For Effective Discipline
• Project NoSpank
• Gentle Christian Mothers
• 10 Reasons Not To Hit Your Child

spanking, children, discipline, gentle discipline

A new writer has taken over The Attached Mother. Hopefully I can pick this blog back up where it left off. If my name sounds familiar I am also the writer for Mom Is Teaching and Creative Mom Cafe. Now I’ll also be sharing my views on attachment parenting. I hope that I’ll have something to say that you’ll enjoy reading.

For those who don’t know me I should share some about me. I’m a stay at home mom of two boys who are both very attached. It is a learning experience, every day I learn something new about parenting. When my oldest son was little I was unsure and not used to following my instincts. We coslept for the first four months and only breastfed for 15 months. I had not even heard of a sling or carrier and did not have one until he was a year old. With my second though I had learned more about the type of parent I wanted to be. We coslept until he was 18 months and he is still nursing frequently during the day.

I follow a natural family lifestyle that, for us, is very intertwined with attachment style parenting. I try to use the 7 tools of attachment along with my own views to piece together how I choose to parent my children. You might not agree with everything that I do, and not all of it falls strictly in AP lines. But I hope that what I share helps and encourages other parents who are interested in raising attached children.

attachment parenting, AP, parenting