The Attached Mother

Have you ever gotten caught up in parenting by the book?  I have. 

As a new mother, I was so anxious to do everything just right.  Everything mattered.  Nothing was insignificant.  Did I make Bug’s diaper too tight?  He might lose faith in my ability to keep him comfortable.  Oh dear!  Did he just have peas to eat for lunch yesterday?  Oh no.  I can’t remember! What if I don’t give him a proper variety of veggies and he rejects them?  (As it turns out, that was a lot of effort wasted.)  And heaven forbid I should make a misstep on any AP practice. 

And then I had two.  I did not have time to be an anxious mom anymore.  Oh no, no.  I worried less about Bear.  He didn’t really have solids until he was 9 months and then as a toddler he ate frozen peas for dinner every night for months.  (And this one will eat any food we put in front of him.)  I did the right AP things but struggled to keep up with doing things perfectly by the book.  After a bout with PPD, I relaxed my standards and became a true attached mother, with extra energy to spend on children instead of using that energy to worry that I was doing things perfectly.

When number three came along, I had the AP thing down.  It all came naturally and I could finally say that I parented using common sense and that led me to fall under the category of attachment parent.  I just simply did the things that my mother instinct told me to do. 

Attachment parenting by the book is tempting for type-A personalities such as myself.  Relaxing is difficult.  Having more than one child will force anyone to relax, however.  You cannot expend energy and time on non-issues anymore.

Sure, every parent needs to know what babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and children truly need and work within those things, but the constant worry over the detriment of your child’s future if you dare to use a stroller or leave your baby with a grandparent over night is just not necessary.