AP fundamentalism
Recently on a message board that I frequent there was a post about the way that AP’ers tend to perceive any other type of parenting as harmful to children. I like to call these sort of attachment parents “AP fundies”. They remind me of Christian fundamentalists with their zealous preaching of the AP way and their judgment of other non-AP parents. And just like the Christian fundies, these AP pushers are apt to turn other parents off from even the slightest interest in attachment parenting.
These parents have a genuine passion for attachment parenting and that is wonderful. Attachment parenting can be difficult at times and that passion helps parents to carry on with their chosen parenting style come hell or high water. Unfortunately, these passionate AP’ers also tend to feel sorry for any child who is not breastfed, co-sleeping, sling-worn, unschooled or, heaven forbid, not being raised by a stay at home parent.
These moms often find that having friends “in real life” is difficult because they can’t seem to get over the fact that one friend is a formula feeder and the other spanks her children and the next one can’t imagine co-sleeping. Having a friend who is a working mother is out of the question because they couldn’t possibly have anything in common.
While there is absolutely nothing wrong and everything right with having friends who share your beliefs and values, writing off someone you barely know based solely on their parenting decisions is foolish. These mothers lose opportunities to show others how well a healthy attachment can work because they isolate themselves with only like-minded parents. Many parents don’t understand attachment parenting or how it works and especially how it looks. The chance to show another parent that without having to engage in a conversation about parenting is priceless.
A tea party for Suri Cruise. So sweet!
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