Attachment Parenting for the older child
What does attachment parenting look like for your baby when he or she is no longer a baby? What do you do to keep the bond strong after your child has weaned, prefers to run free instead of being carried in the sling and maybe even sleeps in his or her own bed?
Gentle, positive discipline (which starts at birth) is the next step. A continuance of the gentle way that you have already taught your baby by responding to his or her needs is imperative in order to maintain the relationship you have created. Nothing makes me sadder than a gentle babyhood turned into punitive toddler or preschool years.
Discipline (which means “to teach” and does not mean “to punish” ) is of ultimate importance. It is our job as parents to teach our children about life and about which actions are acceptable and which are harmful to themselves and other. This job can be accomplished through gentle discipline.
Detrimental to the attachment relationship and the emotional growth of our children is punitive parenting. Children need to learn cause and effect and that every single action has either a positive or negative consequence or sometimes both. Yelling and spanking are not necessary in order to teach our children and in fact may make our message to them lost altogether.
This is not to say that we won’t make mistakes and resort to reactive behaviors like spanking and yelling. Filling the discipline toolbox with enough options can make obsolete the need and even the desire to spank and yell.
Next week I will post resources and ideas for filling your gentle discipline toolbox.
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If you haven’t checked out the Parenting Toddlers blog, please do! Rebecca, mother of four (soon to be six!) has taken over the toddler blog. She has a lot of experience and insight to share.
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