The Attached Mother

Born in September of 2001, Bear is my sweet Virgo. We share a birth month. 

Bear was born after 6 hours of labor.  Easy, by-the-book, hospital birth.  I asked for the epidural upon arrival and then proceeded to calmly breath through each contraction amazed at the difference between normal labor and back labor with a “sunny-side up” baby.  So, this is why women have natural births, I thought to myself.  Each contraction was incredibly painful, but when I wasn’t contracting, I wasn’t in pain.  Very nice. 

Bear cried our entire hospital stay.  He was a high-needs baby just like his older brother, but unlike his older brother he would allow himself to be calmed by daddy.  He also nursed for food and to relax into sleep, but no other comfort nursing was required for him.  I never experienced the 45 minutes on, 45 minutes off nursing like I did with Bug. 

Bear is an old soul.  When he was a baby, a friend made a comment that he looked wise.  And he did.  It seems he has always talked.  He has always just known things.  Music soothes him like nothing else will and certain songs make him cry. He is attached to “blankie” which he has slept with every night since he was a baby.

I had PPD after Bear was born and because of that and having to care for a spirited toddler, I had to drop my goal of perfect parenting and not be so by-the-book. I still practiced attachment parenting, of course, but in order to do that I had to change my idea that perfection was attainable.

Bear was a horrible napper.  Until he was 13 months old, I took naps with him because that was the only way he would nap.  Eventually he grew out of needing me at nap time.  It was then that I realized how much I cherished our daily naps together.  I realized how much I needed that quiet time when both boys were sleeping.  If I hadn’t had to lay down with Bear, I would have been running around, madly cleaning and scrubbing to make my house perfect.  Napping with Bear forced me to take time to recover from several major life events that happened to us around that time.

When Bear was 28 months old, his little brother was born.  Bear has been an excellent big brother and is very loving to Bean.

Bear will start preschool and soccer in September and cannot wait.  Bear will be four in September and believe it or not, he doesn’t know his ABCs completely!  Yeah, I’ve relaxed a bit.